Friday 18 November 2011

A Message from the Sun God: Tea Bagging* +the Great Filament

Planting a Muffler* on the Surface of the Sun[god]
"It's one of the biggest things in the entire solar system. A dark filament of magnetism measuring more than 800,000 km from end to end is sprawled diagonally across the face of the Sun[god]. NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory took an ultraviolet picture of the structure during the late hours of Nov. 17th

If the filament becomes unstable, as solar filaments are prone to do, it could collapse and hit the stellar surface below, triggering a Hyder flare. Indeed, part of the filament already erupted on Nov. 16th, but Earth was not in the line of fire when the twisted lines of magnetism snapped. A similar event today would likely be geoeffective because of the filament's central location on the solar disk." [Space Weather]
My sources are highly trained bonobos with headsets and control pads. Even though they cannot speak words they convey so much to each other often without sound. The ultimate insult they can bestow upon each other and is quite common in desert and jungle regions is tea bagging after death. According to GiantBomb.com's steps on how to tea-bag properly:
Kill opponent (this step is not necessary if your desired target is already dead)
Move up to your victim's corpse
Stand on top of your victims corpse
Stand then crouch repeatedly while being directly over the corpse
Having Crumpet
Image: Wikipedia
To make sure my research standards were impeccable I consulted the secret evolving library run by legions of monkeys. It told me a filament was "the thinking woman's crumpet" which sounds scary but is instead littered with erotic thoughts and images. In one picture [warning discretion required] which even I refuse to show,  a model is degraded as he is made dangle to his bags over a cup just for a tea cake recipe and titillation of female readers. I refuse to show such smut here despite magazine sources stating it is Art rather than from fotoshop. I have aesthetic considerations for my objections in life such as starbucks coffee which I find quite offensive no matter how much sugar you throw at it. I refuse to show this picture on these same grounds.

Monkeys, in general, lack direction. I have Generals Disarray and Confusion at my side. I have a good sense of direction despite the darkness surrounding and the lack of signs. I am over qualified but I am humble. I have seen the Chosen Bob and I believe. I can take my army of monkeys letting them create chaos with purpose. I will watch from afar taking pictures. We must be patient and choose out targets well. First I have to convince my People to perform one simple act of faith and teabag it to the enemy as I will watch on in envy and laughter. #OccupyCOD

* As an equal opportunities we at GingerZilla are happy to accept Muffling/Lip Kisses. I really don't care who wants to play with the weapons as long as they follow me or rather stand in front of me.  
* The Scottish male model must have felt humiliated but that may have nothing to do with the pose, I'm just speculating. 

I think the Sun[god] has sent me a message (above) which I have interpreted through the Magical Theory of Discombobulation (Theory of Bob for short). It may very well be the Sun sending me back another Mexican Wave for a job well done in helping England to two one nil victories. I was only doing what my master told me. Now despite what the god damn hippy Cosmetic Brain Surgery has been trying to tell me about love and peace. No revolution can be carried out without violence - it tends to be one sided anyway. Once my followers have committed themselves to me in a gigantic act of disobedience then I will let them know more of my future plans for conquest. We can never forget that we need people at home to be able to support us if this movement is to grow. They need to help us without leaving the house. 

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